“If you don't get lost, there is a chance you may never be found.”
—Anonymous

Discovering Self - Your True Authentic Self

This statement rings so true for me, and I bet for you as well. No person in their lifetime, has gone through life, without questioning who am I? Why am I here? What is my Purpose? What are experiences trying to teach me?

I am sure these and other questions, pertaining to self-identify and finding your true authentic self, have come up. The burning question is how to answer that question, how to experience that question, without excessive self-judgment, or perceived judgment from others. How do you embrace all that you are - good, bad and for lack of a better word, ugly?

How do you move through life’s experiences without letting them define you, control you, and create your life story, as opposed to it being just a simple part of your story? That's it, one unique part of your story. Who is to say that your experience or experiences, have to be the only story you tell. Where is the light at the end of that tunnel? I surely don't see it.

What I see are people who are uniquely blessed with experience that aids in making up for a small part of what they embody, and even with that, over time, may change with each experience.

The answer to who you are, lies in your underlying vales, principles, culture, experiences, etc., but again, not binding yourself to any one of them and being fluid and receptive to change.

Let’s look at some of the core things that will help you to find your true authentic self.

  1. Don't Overthink the Process - Avoid Getting Stuck
    What does this mean? It is important to embark on any experience without self-judgement, void of anxiety, or being overly self-conscious, when trying to figure out your true authentic self. When you apply those kinds of pressures, it will inevitably blur your vision during your process of self-identity. Having a forgiving attitude will better help you to understand your feelings, and allowing for clarity on how to proceed.

  2. Have an Adaptable Mindset - Being Flexible With Self Will Be Useful
    Just like a caterpillar, that goes through its own delicate and beautiful phase of change, though not so beautiful to the outsider, but having to remain flexible and adaptable. Adaptability will aid you in meeting experience with new eyes, bending and conforming to those experiences, knowing that with each experience, a new you will be created, even when not so good.

  3. Discovering Your True Authentic Self Comes When it's Time - No Need to Force It
    Sometimes, people who feel lost, or have a low sense of self, often seek to find their true authentic self, and spend too much time trying to convince others of their new find, that it may come off as fake or the complete opposite of authentic. It is inevitable, during this phase of discovery to gain friends and cohorts of like minds, or to lose friends with whom you have shared same experiences with for a long period. So, in essence, self-discovery has its share of losses and gains, and with that, you will have to garner those internal strengths, to confront that part of yourself, you no longer wish to hold on to.

  4. Move Forward and Accept the Process
    Simple: Move Forward!!! Don't be afraid to move forward, not negating or minimizing what is being left behind, but moving forward or the idea of moving forward is cathartic and healing in itself. Begin to question out loud, what are the things that are important to me? Some people can ask this question aloud and have an internal dialogue, while other may need to pen their answers. Set up quiet time, get a journal and WRITE IT DOWN. No need for this process to be even more difficult than it needs to be. Find your values, not ones that were imparted on you as a child, but your own true values; cultivate your strengths, really start to look at those strengths and OWN them; identify your weaknesses, really start to look at them and own them; identify your passions, the things that make you feel GOOD; acknowledge your limitations and barriers and begin to explore ways to work with and or around them; set goals and establish direction, focus on where you truly want to go with this discovery! Identify your support system, the ones who allow you to blossom, who love and support you with no conditions, and allow them to be there as you transition into your true authentic self!

  5. Get a Therapist
    Therapy is often seen as for the "crazy,” but that is not the case. Therapy can be useful in helping you to have a neutral sounding board, and to help you through that process of self-discovery, which may mean working on those small details of the past, that prevent you from discovering your true authentic self. Try it!!!

by Ava Griffiths
LCSW

Office Hours: Monday – Friday   10am – 6pm  •  We offer Spanish speaking treatment services
885 Buford Drive,  Lawrenceville, GA 30043  •   (678) 261-7671